Yes, of course we’d like the option to be there should we choose that path, but we have to get there, first. Trust me, I’m not exactly planning my wedding when men harass me on the street, telling me that my sexual identity is a “waste” and that they can “fix” me. I wasn’t hearing wedding bells when I weighed the consequences of coming out to my parents, not sure if I would have a stable home afterwards. Oh, and in high school? I certainly wasn’t concerned about marriage while the GSA posters were being stripped from the walls and deliberately torn to pieces.

Our voice is not being represented when issues such as bullying, youth homelessness, and abuse are overlooked in favor of the “victory” of marriage.

You are changing. Perhaps there is something about yourself that you are ashamed of in some way. Maybe you’re gay, lesbian, or feel like you’ve been born in the wrong body. Or you might just feel like you are weird. Sometimes, especially in our teens, we feel disconnected, like we’re watching things go on around us but we’re not really a part of anything. I know because I’ve been lost before, many times. All those feelings, in part, come from shame. You were not born with shame, though, so you don’t have to own it. It took years for you to learn that shame is a part of you, but it takes only a declaration from you to release it. You are what you are. Don’t make excuses for yourself. Doing so only minimizes who you are now and who you will become someday.

When 18-year-old Tyler Clementi jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge in September 2010, he became an overnight symbol of the fight against cyber-bullying and homophobia. Here, his older brother reclaims his memory from the headlines and pays tribute to his abbreviated life.

Two college roommates, a webcam, and a tragedy.